I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
