Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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