I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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