So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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