Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
