brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
