I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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