You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
