last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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