did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize