Swine flu. Run for my life!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
