Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
