We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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