sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
