Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
