do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize