I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize