how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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