I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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