I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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