maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
