i wish there were pregnant emoticons
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
