Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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