I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
