Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
