are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize