I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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