Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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