I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
