Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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