Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize