You smell like stripper and shame
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
