like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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