he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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