Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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