Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she pinky promised me she was 18
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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