I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just blew my weed a kiss
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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