Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize