I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
