clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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