Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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