Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hippo gnu deer
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
