I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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