I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
