He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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