was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
