Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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