Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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