Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
