Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
