And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
