WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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