trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
