am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
