I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
