I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
