do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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