dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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