Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
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My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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