Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
